oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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