did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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