Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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