"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Randomize
