I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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