Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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