When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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