I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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