the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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