Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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