the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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