But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
