Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
