So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
