Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
