He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
