Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
i think my cat just said my name.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
