Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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