i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
