you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
