maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
