just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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