Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
