I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
