The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
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