we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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