If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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