feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
