I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
