And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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