My first STD was from a foam party
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
