I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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