We won't sleep together?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
nutella sex= disaster
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
