How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Dignity is for republicans.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
