Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
