if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
