I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
