We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
