I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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