I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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