I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
