ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
The feeling are messing with the penis
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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