I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
