never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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