I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
