Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
