hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize