We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
