This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
