idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
