Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize