we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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