He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
