dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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