Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
