What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
