Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
soo... how was my night?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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