Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
