can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
