Whoa Z and x make the same sound
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
