If i come over, it means nothing
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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