weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize