That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
