sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
