you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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