I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
