I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
